Lost Boy of Manila

I’ve been planning it for so long and it’s only now that I had the time to write my own blog.

There are so many things running in my mind. I want to share the experiences I had. I want to write them down. I want someone to read them. I want someone to follow my craziness.

I will be writing down my life, my stupidity, my foolishness. I will be writing down anything I want.

I don’t care if you will mock at me because of what I wrote. I don’t care if you will laugh at me. I don’t care if you will fall pity on me. I don’t care.

But I will be very glad if you will try to understand what I feel. I will be very happy if you will read and search deep behind the words I wrote. I would be very pleased if you will still be there waiting for my next stories of nonsense.

I write. You read.

You ask. I answer.

Fair enough?

Yup. That’s me.

…

I was born in Sampaloc, Manila. I only know the name of the street, but not the place itself. I don’t have any clear memories of my birthplace for I had only spent my toddler years in that place.

I spent my childhood days in the slums of Quezon City then my adult years in Bulacan.

Now I’m 22 and am currently working here in Thuwal, Saudi Arabia. I don’t know what the future holds for me but one thing is for sure. I want to go back in the beginning where I started.

I want to return to the place where I learned to utter my first words, to the house where I learned to walk, to the street where I spent my first birthday. I want to do it alone. I want to do it by myself.

But time restricts me. I don’t know when I will be coming back. I don’t know…

…

Lost. Yeah, definitely I’m lost.

I can’t grow up. I’m stuck.

I’m still in the process of finding “myself”, of discovering “me”, of exploring “I”.

I made wrong turning points, I made huge mistakes, I made incorrect decisions, and now I had gone deep into this shit.

I don’t need medical attention; I’m still with my sanity. My friends always tag me as an emo, but it’s just the way how I perceive life.

I don’t know my true purpose here, I can’t figure out my true calling. I have so many issues with my personality. I’m a mess…

I will just continue on with this shit, just let things happen and enjoy the rest of this madness.

As for the time being, I will still consider myself lost until someone finds me and picks me up from this bullshit they called life…